You've probably heard of win-win. My sense is that there is often a third element, or even another person, in any given situation. My experience is that we cannot succeed, grow, or just become unstuck, until we figure out what that is. 

Clearly, leaders want to win, but so does an organisation, its customer, staff, and so on. It's a view that looks beyond self-interest somewhat to our impact on both the immediate and wider world. In most business and personal transactions, it pays to consider not only the mutual benefit for you and the other party, but what effect it might have on (say) the team, company, environment, family, or community.

We may have blind spots detrimentally affecting our job performance or the quality of our relationships.

Claude Littner confronted a candidate in a final-five Apprentice interview saying, "you don't know what you don't know, because you don't know it."   A profound yet obvious truth for us all.

In my marriage I've found that conflict between us often brings into play another dimension - yes, I could blame the kids, but invariably it's something from my past causing tension and problems now.

Sometimes life drops a bombshell, and we need to talk that through, lest we go under, or look for consolation in all the wrong places. Other times we just get stuck in a rut - that's okay, I've been there!

I've seen this many times around the half-way mark. It's not so much a mid-life crisis as a conscious or sub-conscious attempt to assess who we are, where we are, and what we want to do differently, better, or not at all, in the second half of our lives. 

My advice is that you chat through what a Win-Win-Win situation looks like for you, your spouse and the kids; your employment, or whatever circumstance you're in. Better that than a hasty and potential painful or costly Lose-Lose-Lose decision.

My coaching is born of decades of insights having collaborated with hundreds of people; experience enhanced by multi-disciplined training; plus, an uncanny instinct for nailing a question that gets to the heart of the matter. The aim being to bring understanding both of the 'now' and any influences from our past, thus presenting opportunities and options for moving forward. There are plenty of places I used to 'live' that just didn't work for me, or those close to me. Now I don't even visit them anymore.

It's worth noting that many clients I work with are not fully aware what other factor might be at play until we start meeting together, just that "there's something else going on" hence:   

So "if you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far (let's) go together."  I'd love to journey with you.